


a lover's suicide

by songs



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Ending to the Neferpitou Fight, Character Death, Gore, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-14
Updated: 2014-06-14
Packaged: 2018-02-04 15:45:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1784518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/songs/pseuds/songs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In my next life, I want to be me, and meet you again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a lover's suicide

☽

It’s cold.

Killua is bathed in a mix of blood and starlight; when he shivers, another wound blooms and tears at his waist.

_More blood,_ he thinks, dully.  _More, more, more blood._

Gon isn’t faring much better. He lays a ways off, half-limbed and all-blood. Killua, as if just realizing himself, shifts to face him, digging the points of his elbows into the ground in an attempt to crawl—

“Killua,” comes Gon’s voice, and he stills. His vision goes blurry, and he tries to squint, tries to make out the form of the other boy. But there’s too much red and his eyes are still stinging, bleeding from the Nen-blast. And he only catches a glimpse of Pitou’s corpse and maybe its bones, too; Gon’s face is out of his range, but his voice isn’t.

“W-what…do you want to be in your next life?”

Killua feels his body go rigid.  _No,_ he wants to say,  _no, it isn’t going to end like this—_

Sharp breaths, grassy footfalls, glassy whimpers—all of these sound closer and closer, until Killua feels something small and bony touch along his hand.

_Gon._

Gon laughs a non-laugh, and Killua desperately cranes his neck to face him, searching for his face in the mosaic of blood. Gon links their pinkies— _no_   _he links their ring fingers_ —and Killua tries to forget that that is the only hand Gon has left. He tries to forget that he, too, has lost too much blood, too much of himself— _This means nothing to you—_ tries to forget it all when he murmurs:

“I…I don’t know.” A beat. “What do you want to be?”

He tries to slip closer, and almost succeeds; he probably lost his leg in the explosion. It doesn’t feel like anything. Nothing really feels like anything, except Gon’s fingers draped over his.

_This,_ he wonders,  _might really be—_

“In my next life…” Gon whispers, so tenderly, so quietly that Killua almost misses it. “…I want to be me, and meet you again.”

Killua feels the tears build up behind the blood in his eyes, the base of his throat. He tightens his hold on Gon, but his touch is so weak that it barely makes a difference. And Killua doesn’t know how to accept soft words, and Gon has always been the one to give, up until now, up until he stopped, and maybe this is an apology, maybe it is something more, or maybe, just  _maybe,_  it’s a promise -- _he will never be sure, he will never, ever be sure --_ and so Killua, in that dream-slow moment, decides to take it as everything.

He tries to laugh, but blood clouds the sound. Gon lets out a crescent-sob beside him, and Killua finally closes his tired, broken eyes.

“…Idiot.”


End file.
